The Chaos and Growth

 I never really imagined what “adulting” would feel like. And now, here I am—right in the middle of it. Who isn’t, right? I used to hear people complain about chasing due dates and running after bills, and I thought, that’s just part of life. But when it finally became my reality, it hit differently.

Back in Bukidnon, I lived for almost ten years without ever thinking about paying for electricity, water, Wi-Fi, or any other household bills. That comfort shielded me from many responsibilities. But when I moved here to Ozamiz City, I suddenly had to face it all—where to stay, what to eat, how to do my laundry, and basically how to start from scratch.

And starting over, I realized, is no joke. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, and sometimes hilarious. I get stressed just thinking about who will do my laundry, especially when I have an urgent trip and my uniforms aren’t ready. Food is another challenge since I have to be mindful of my health and can’t just eat anything. Recently, I transferred to a new studio pad. It’s a bit farther from the office, but it gives me a sense of comfort and safety—something I’ve been longing for. Finally, I can sleep at peace, and that’s priceless.

When I first settled in, the smallest things made me laugh. I never imagined I would be the kind of person searching for towel hooks, rags, walis tingting, and walis tambo. Yet there I was, standing in the market, realizing that these little things are part of what it really means to build a life of your own. My place is still bare, but it’s a work in progress. Starting out truly demands time, patience, and more finances than I expected.

The real challenge now? Squeezing into my schedule when to pay the bills—electricity, water, Wi-Fi, and everything in between. Thankfully, I have Wey, who often reminds me of the things I tend to forget or wouldn’t normally care about. It makes the adjustment a little lighter, and for that, I’m grateful.

Sometimes, I try to take all these struggles as fun—little adventures that come with growth. Even when it feels frustrating, I remind myself this is part of becoming who I am meant to be. Still, there are moments when I feel the distance. My family is about five hours away, so I rarely get to go home. I miss them, especially my little niece who’s growing up so fast. Whenever I do visit, I realize how much I miss talking to her—this tiny human who now converses with me as though she’s already an adult. (In Bisaya, we say makatubay naman sa storya—meaning, she can already keep up with my stories.)

Oh, life! It really does take courage—not just to exist, but to truly live. Adulting is more than paying bills and managing chores; it’s about finding meaning in the everyday grind, learning to embrace the chaos, and building a life that feels like your own. For me, it’s about living with purpose and, in the middle of it all, choosing to be happy.