Here I go again—starting a blog, the usual and classic way. It’s been years since I last did this, and honestly, I don’t even know where the time went. Life happened, I guess. I’ve been busy teaching, pursuing postgrad studies, working, and managing everything else in between.
Blogging used to be such a big part of my life. Looking back, it helped me grow, reflect, and understand myself on a deeper level. It became my outlet, especially during one of the darkest times—when I lost my mother. A part of me died with her. And taking a path I never truly wanted was the biggest game changer in my life. I poured my thoughts into words every day, using writing as my escape. In doing so, I forgot how to live in the real world.
Then came a turning point. Reality demanded more from me. I got caught up with life, especially nearing graduation. That’s when I lost access to my old blog, telelahbells. I forgot the password and eventually, the habit faded. I started living more in the present, with people in front of me, not just behind a screen.
Maybe part of me stopped blogging because I didn’t want to relive the memories—especially the love that once was, and the grief that nearly broke me. I never really allowed myself to grieve properly. I didn’t cry as hard as I should have. I buried the pain, kept moving, because if I didn’t, I might’ve lost myself completely.
Blogging reminds me of those struggles—the ones no one ever really saw. Maybe some people would understand if I had shared it, but I never did. I didn’t talk about the pain. I didn’t show it. I was so hard on myself. I wasn’t even kind to my own heart. That was me then. That’s how I survived.
And now, here I am, writing again. Maybe because I need to. Because there are still things I’m keeping inside, and I need a space to release them. One day, I’ll look back at this and remember how far I’ve come—and how to live a life filled with meaning, with beauty, and with heart.
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